So, allowing for the fact that I spend my life horizontal, I decided to go horizontal AND comatose for the day. Well, apparently that was simply not good enough. The Big Dog wants to go see if the river has flooded and apparently whether I float. Typical.
Anyway, before I know what is happening, I am bunged on the lead, poo-bags at the ready and dragged out of the door on the way to the fields. Did the sun shine? No. Did it rain? It drizzled annoyingly. Did I float? No. Did he get some amazing images of the river flooding. No.
Great idea that was then.
- Was meant to go to a competition – rain stopped play
- Went to the allotment – got rained on
- Went to the fields – it was wet
- Went again to the fields – something bit my foot
I don’t know what bit my foot, or stung it or something, but I ended up being carried back; very embarrasing.
Then I couldn’t get comfortable. I lay on my left side and stuck my foot in the air – that didn’t work. I tried lying on my back with all four feet upwards, but got wedged in the corner of the armchair. I lay on my tummy with my foot out sideways, but I looked like a furry frog. I tried sucking the foot, lying on the foot, sticking it in my ear, but it was all a waste of time.
This morning the foot is better, but now it is cold and grey and to be honest all I want to do is get comfortable and sleep through it all. So that is exactly what I am doing!
One of my most important jobs during the day is to keep watch for squirrels. Now this may seem a pointless excersise since many people mistakingly think that squirrels are completely harmless and benign creatures that would not say boo to a goose, or dog even.
Nothing could be further from the truth!
It is well known amongst canine society that squirrels are part of an evil, undercover conspiracy that have only one aim – the very doom of human and dog life! Together with cats, they have been planing for centuries to make humans into wimps and softies by playing cute cameos that take humans attention from the more important things in life – like dogs.
Now, I admit that we dogs can do the cute trick too, but any big eyes are nothing more nefarious than snack collecting. Squirrels and cats, however, they will eventually melt everyone’s brains with cuteness and take over the world, you mark my words!
So, squirrel watching is far more vital than people think and we should be allowed to do it as much as possible!
We are working on the sequel to a song we did last year about teens getting pregnant. It was done for the education people a long way from here (for me, that could be anywhere, to be honest) and was used as part of thing they did in schools.
The story was about two young people after a party who had been a bit naughty and they now had a puppy. So, what is the problem? Well, apparently there was one, but I didn’t get it! Who would turn down the offer of a free puppy, for goodness sake? So, this song is a year later and we find out how they are doing. Lots of long walks and bones for the pup, I hope.
The big dog was having trouble with the high notes, so I graciously volunteered to have a go for him. I am sure he will use it in the final mix – I mean, my singing voice is legendary!
After “Bedbug-Gate” this morning, through the haze of my dreams I heard a rattle of keys. Never one to miss out on anything interesting, I dragged myself off the duvet and limped downstairs, willing my backlegs to wake up and catch up.
Before I knew it, I was on the lead and bouncing to the green. Not such a good idea! Do you know what the humidity is out there? And do you know what that is like when you have a fur coat? It was probably the longest walk to the allotment ever as I tried to find every cool, shady place on the way.
Still, all done now. Greenhouses open and I am back on the duvet!